Wednesday, 17 April 2013

"Put Down Old People At Birth" Conservative Party campaign leaflet, 1979

With the funeral of ex-prime minister and hobby taxidermist Margaret Thatcher underway, it is perhaps appropriate that this item from the archive is posted today.

This leaflet was distributed throughout Scarfolk during the 1979 Conservative Party campaign. With such clear policies and faultless logic, it's little wonder that the Tories won the election. The Labour Party had pushed Britain into a deep recession following numerous strikes by miners, postal workers and the royal family who, throughout 1976, refused to politely wave on Tuesdays, weekends and bank holidays.

However, under the Tory government, Scarfolk lost several of its community covens, and the council's plans to convert Scarfolk Towers, the site of a series of occult killings, into a children's nighttime playground were thwarted. Additionally, Scarfolk residents were vexed that mystical phenomena became taxable, which led to an increase in back-street astral projections.

13 comments:

  1. I remember this leaflet campaign well. I was brung up good and proper near Scarfolk, in that beautiful town Leutron, where they tested those nice bombs back in the '70s. Ah those were the days!

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  2. This is clearly a Labour party falsification of the past. The butchers and Tanners were themselves on strike for 13 months* in 1979 and unavailable for C.D.P. (coffin dodger processing).

    * If I remember correctly, 1979 was designated a 13 month leap year by Scarfolk Council due to excessive and unlicensed water divination)

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  3. Let us not forget the grave diggers strike aka 'the winter of malcontent' which of course, coupled with the rabies outbreak upon the town, saw that terrible trouble with zombies

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  4. I actually was a gravedigger in 1979, and I strongly dispute the claim that there was a strike. It was a management lockout, because we, the UGHS, (United Gravediggers Helpful Society), refused to put the old people in the hole before they were actually dead. Our 'Brothers and sisters of the shovel and spade' (BS-SS) fought long and hard during that winter, and left no sod unturned in our struggle for equality after death!

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  5. Gah, another Scarfolk Tory manipulation! I stand corrected brother Flashman

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  6. grim memories of the 70's recovered memory syndromes beyond a joke.....?

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  7. I was five years old in 1979 and I remember being taken to see an old woman being thrown into the back of a van. She was waving her birth certificate and screaming and screeching. I was very frightened.

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  8. Pardon me, Your Worship, but EX-Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher? Isn't she your current Prime Minister?

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  9. Say what you like about the Tories, tinned meat definitely tasted better after 1980...

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  10. This is clearly a Labour party falsification of the past. The butchers and Tanners were themselves on strike for 13 months* in 1979 and unavailable for C.D.P.

    Glyn Willmoth

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  11. Keep this going please, great job!

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  12. You Brits are crazy for socialized medical care, we Yanks can learn much from Scarfolk. It should be our duty to make Sarah Palin's nightmare come to lovely fruition. Thanks for leading the way!

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